Recognising Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence can be split into six main types. These are physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse, isolation and threats. It is a common misconception that domestic violence has to include physical violence to be considered “real” abuse. For many women the emotional elements of abuse are often far worse, and they are the most common. In fact, physical acts such as punching, kicking and biting can play a small part or no part in domestic violence.
Every person is different and so an exhaustive list is impossible but these examples may make it easier to identify what you are experiencing.
Physical: pushing, grabbing you, slapping, kicking, throwing objects at you, punching the wall.
Emotional: Insulting your looks or intelligence, putting you down. Eroding your self esteem.
Sexual: Withholding sexual affection, bullying you into trying things you are not comfortable with, sharing personal photographs of you.
Financial: Asking you to provide receipts for small, personal purchases such as sanitary towels or shampoo, controlling your wages or benefits you are entitled to.
Isolation: Lying to you about your friends or family, asking you to move away from your community, being rude while your friends or family visit so they are less likely to return.
Threats: Threatening violence to you or your children, destroying your possessions, threatening damage to himself.
Domestic violence happens to people of every race, religion, class or culture. It also happens in same-sex relationships.
Domestic violence is never the victim’s fault. Although there is an endless range of ways to abuse a person, they can all be compressed or distilled down to one root cause: a desire for power and control over one person. Abusive behaviour is always a choice, and cannot be explained away by alcohol, stress or a loss of control. Men are most often the abusers, because of their relative position of power when compared to women.