Living with Domestic Violence
When your parents are fighting and arguing in the home, and someone you love is getting hurt it can be very frightening. The home can be a scary place to be when it should be a safe place. The violence is often caused by someone who should be caring and protecting you. It is very confusing as there may be happy times, but you never know when those frightening times are going to happen, when someone you love might get hurt. This probably makes you feel sad and scared. Domestic violence happens in lots of homes, there are about 750,000 children living in homes where there is domestic violence. If you are a child living in a home with domestic violence you are not on your own and there are people who can help you.
Keep Safe
You might feel that you want to protect the person getting hurt. Don’t try to stop the violence as you might get hurt. Find a safe place to hide until the shouting has stopped. If you can phone somebody, maybe a relative or the police then do this, but only if it is safe for you to do so. If you have a neighbour that you know very well, go to them and tell them what is happening.
Talk to Someone
Keeping things a secret is very hard, but you might be frightened to talk about what is happening, but talking can help to make you feel better, and help you think through your problems, and if it is an adult they might be able to help.
Talk to someone you know and trust, maybe your grandparents, an aunt, or an uncle. A problem shared makes it easier to bear.
Talk to your mum and brothers and sisters. Tell them how unhappy, and frightened you are. They may not realise that you know what is going on or how you feel. If they understand how you feel they may help to sort things out.
If you like you can talk to a teacher at school. They can’t keep it secret but they will be able to help you, by putting you in touch with social services whose job it is to protect children.
Contact one of the help lines on this site. You can talk to them for some advice about what to do. You don’t have to tell them who you are, but they may be able to help you decide what to do.
Changing Things
The violence is not likely to go away on it’s own. For the fighting and arguing to stop then something or someone needs to change, and this probably won’t happen on its own, it will probably need someone coming into the family to help. If you are very unhappy, and worried about what is going on in your home, then getting someone to help you is the best way to sort things out.